Epiphany in the Wee Small Hours...

February 25th, 2009 2:50am, Lahaina, Maui, HI - back Home.

I've just awoken from an evidently pleasant 1 1/2 hour sleep segment, to discover that for the first time I've got a totally dry mouth. And I mean TOTALLY, tongue, gums, cheeks, throat, rough of my mouth, everything. Now, the remarkable thing is, nothing is stuck together. There is no pain with movement. Tongue slides easily over and between every surface, and again I say, there is no pain! It is at this point where I'm finally able to make the distinction between SALIVA and MUCOUS. And that's got to be the key.


So, before anything worse can happen, I jump (read that slowly roll) up out of bed, grab the ever handy bottle of water and take a swig, still marveling at what I've just experienced. Can you tell the focus of my world has narrowed? Careful not to inadvertently swipe the dingleberry on the end of my nose, I rub my eyes and continue to swish the mouth full of water as I get up to head to the lua to spit it out. And so I'm up!

Yep, this is pretty much the night time routine I've settled into. Sleep an hour or two, up to do maintenance, and back to bed for another short snooze. It's been a real good thing that I'm a good cat-napper, as I've had no real trouble falling asleep, and then I also awake pretty easy, and as long as I don't let myself get distracted by sitting down to the computer or turning on the TV, it's no great chore to fall back asleep again.

And so yes, by the way, I'm back in Lahaina. Good Friend Marcus is back in town, and will be spending the night Wednesday, and I'll be catching a ride back to Amanda's with him on Thursday.

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway

A Few Bumps Along the Road...

Hmmmmm, Saturday is it? Where did this week go? Well, I have a clue, out the window is where. I think I mentioned that even though "recovery" had started, about all I could say I'd noticed was that I wasn't feeling any worse each day. So, while things have stabilized I've not yet noticed the "feeling better" part quite yet! But that's to be expected, so I'm told.


All in all, I guess I’m doing pretty good. Nothing about the Radiation treatments or chemo therapy were fun, and I’m really glad it’s over. Now, if I’d start feeling better that’d be nice too. I guess just not feeling WORSE every day is something, and I’m good with that too. My last radiation treatment was Feb. 10th, and I still can’t do much more than a totally liquid diet, which is getting pretty old, I don’t mind telling you.


One of the side effects of the Chemo was that I got infections in several of my fingers, pussy little things on the sides between the nails and the quick. Last Wednesday I wound up on a Surgeon’s table, having my two thumbs and right index finger lanced (that’s sliced open and drained) which was no fun whatsoever, and not something I was exactly ready for. The photo doesn't quite do the "thumb job" justice...


Thursday was my first follow-up with Dr. Makishi, the Radiation Oncologist, who pretty much said, "I'd done good!" He will see me two more times I guess, and get me started on coming down off the Pain Patch and the rest of the pain meds - which I flip-flop back and forth over. Sometimes I'm feeling pretty good, and am ready to be done, other times, feeling not so good, and wondering what else I could take to make things seem better.

Then on Friday I had the end of my nose snipped off (skin cancer which started the whole thing - and this is the "before" photo) and now I am the proud possessor of a little “dingleberry” kind of thing sticking on the top of my nose. I’m a real site… I’ll try and get photos up on the Blog soon, no reason why EVERYONE shouldn’t be able to laugh their ass off at my expense!



So, this little gem comes off Friday, and hopefully that will be the end of it. If the skin graft has taken that is... As for the fingers, they're coming along. The Left Thumb is just about healed. The Right has a ways to go, and the Right Index finger is still a bit of a bother. I have little minor flare ups on other fingers, and my Right toe on my foot seems to be barking for attention - I suspect wearing shoes as the major culprit there however. At least back in Lahaina slippers work just fine. Although we have Rain on the forecast, so we'll see.



"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain

A Little Appreciation

Recovering from Recovery…

Yesterday went fairly well, as “days go,” I guess; especially so, considering it was my 61st Birthday (oops - had mistakenly previouslu had this as my 60th... hada be the drugs!), and first follow-up appointment with Dr. Coty, the Medical Oncologist. Naturally, his office is in the Oncology section over at Kaiser Wailuku, where I had been undergoing my 8 weeks of Chemotherapy and all in all, I received a GOOD report, and will see him once more before leaving for California in May.

Awhile ago, it occurred to me, that it would be a worthwhile gesture on my part, to acknowledge or express my appreciation to the surprising number of Medical Professionals it took to provide and maintain the care I’ve been under. The first thought I had was the timely result of something I stumbled over, on the Internet. I came across a site, where you could make your own HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD STAR, the so called “Star’s” Star… And weeks ago Amanda had helped me to collect all the names and with correct spellings.

As time went by I remembered having some "certificate" blanks somewhere in storage, and was actually able to find them, and added that to the mix. In talking with Amanda and Kelly we came up with the idea that one thing Nurses and anyone in the Medical profession would appreciate would be a Foot Massage & Pedicure, so we got gift Certificates for them all. Since two of the Radiation Techs were Male, I had concerns that a "pedicure" might be a little too effeminate, but turns out both are married, so I left them the option to pass the certificate on to their Wives, and maybe pick up some Brownie points in the process.

Topping the package off with a letter to just say THANKS, and a little toy windmill for fun, we packed them all up in an envelope, and had Amanda deliver them. Turns out they were a big hit, and it was definitely the right thing to do.

And then we met with Doctor Coty, and Amanda brought up the issue about my "fingers" and he didn't like what he saw. Said he was going to send me over to see one of the surgeons, and have them take a look. Well, the look turned into LANCING three of my tender little digits, both thumbs and my right index. OMG, I wasn't ready for that. So now I've got even bigger bandages on my fingers, and typing has gotten even more difficult. And on that note, it's time to rest 'em.

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard

Yessterday The Presidents, Today Paris, Tomorrow Me!

Yep! In addition to Sweethearts, February is a good month for Birthdays! Just ask any Aquarian... So Paris, I hope you had a good time on your Birthday, today. Sorry I couldn't make it to the Party, but I just couldn't get away. I know you'll understand. Maybe next year!





Normally I tend to "play down" mine, to the extent that I simply dissappear, and that't the end of it. Surprisingly enough, my Family's even kind of given in after quite a few failed attempts to have it matter. But that ain't gonna happen this year, I'm not even gonna try and fight it. Still, I don't think we've got any great plans. Fortunately for me, they've all got such full lives of their own, it keeps them busy enough, and besides, "Dad's" gotten more than his fair share of attention this year.

Now, as far as my "health issues" I guess we're kind of at the boering stage. I suppose there's still some drama remaining, awaiting the post-treatment diagnosise of the different Doctors, but I don't see how it could be anything but good at this point. Hopefully I'm not being over optomistic, but it sure seems like the cancer should be whooped. Presumeably just removing the one tonsil was to have gotten all the identifiable cancer cells, and the Radiation/Herbitux surely reduced the "lump" in my neck, as it's definately gone.

Well, I guess that's what this week is all about. Tomorrow I meet with Dr. Coty, he's the Medical Oncoligist, and Kaiser's Cancer Guy, for his follow-up & evaluation of the Chemotherapy. Then Thursday it's Dr. Makishi, he's the Radiation Oncologist, over at the Pacific Cancer Institute, for his evaluation of how well I've "cooked." And last, by the end of the week I should know from Dr. Neuman, my ENT, when he's going to do the Nose Excision (oh, you knew about that right?), which will probably be next week. So, that's about it for now. Ciao!

"I have finally arrived at the age at which the things I remember most clearly never happened at all." - Mark Twain

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY YA'LL

Hello Sweethearts Everywhere!

Here's wishing a good day to all, and wanting everyone to know that for sure, THIS GUY LOVES YOU! I have been so fortunate these past few weeks, to be on the receiving end of so many kind thoughts and good wishes, I can't begin to thank you all enough.

So this is one feeble attempt. THANK YOU! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!!

As to recovery progress... well, we haven't started making much yet... but, the good news is, I don't think things are continuing to get a bit worse each day, which from my perspective is GREAT! I'm more than happy to have finally reached the HIGH PLATEAU of PAIN and DISCOMFORT, if in fact this is it. And then it's just hanging in there as things improve, which I don't expect to be exactly easy, but it will be a welcome change. So, although I wouldn't want you all to just forget about me entirely yet, I do think it's about time to lower every ones "concern levels" on my account, and shifting the focus of some of that positive energy to others, who might be more in need of it than me now.

And there's no doubt there's too much of that in the world. for example, I recently learned that the Sister of my Uncle Rich's wife, Mary Ann, has just had hip replacement surgery, and isn't doing all that well, and our prayers should go out to her. On the other hand, ol' High School Pal, Derick Moss has just come out of the Hospital after having his SECOND hip done, and he's doing pretty good, or so he says. Then there is my first Wife, Kristie's son Jon, who's having a terrible bout with undiagnosed abdominal pains, which are evidently more than just a teenagers raging hormones. And so he's in need of a Prayer or two.

Now, over on the good side of Life, another High School Buddy, JC Agajanian's (and wife Franci's) eldest Son, JC III and his wife are expecting their first the end of May. Hurray Jay! So, again we're reminded that LIFE IS GOOD. The good Lord gives us highs and lows, and it's up to us to make the most of them all. Again, I say Thank you to everyone, your support and encouragement have meant the world to me. I'm not sure I could have done it, without it.

Oh, and I would be remiss, were I not to mention that the clever little composition of John 3:16 was sent to me by my Dear Sister, Karen. - Thanks SIS!

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Happy Paraskevidekatriaphobia Day!

Paraskevidekatriaphobia: Derived from three Greek words = “Paraskevi” which means Friday, “dekatria” which means Thirteen, and “phobia” which means fear.

Last Treatment - Just the Begining...

Well, Tuesday may have been my last Radiation Treatment, but I'm realizing that this "Adventure" is far from over! They sort of tell you this in the beginning, but it isn't really all that clear, and it definitely doesn't soak in. I chose to seek strength in focusing on making it to "the last treatment." Knowing that if I could make it to that point, it'd be NBD (no big deal) to get through whatever was left. Well, that is proving to have been a little short sighted.

The "facts of the matter" are becoming clearer, now that we've reached that landmark achievement. The reality of it is, that the effects of the Radiation will continue to INCREASE for at least another three days following the last session. That's not a real welcome prospect, as the last few sessions clicked off, the after effects were significantly more unpleasant. I've been more fatigued. The burns (epidermal) on my neck cover about 60% (mostly on the right side) and take quite a bit of attention with keeping covered with the Aquaphor ointment so it doesn't dry out. Then there's the fact that the ointment is a bit greasy, and gets into and on to everything.

Internally my throat, cheeks and gums have some pretty bad spots as well, which make for an interesting mix. The saliva glands are gone, so there's dry mouth, which you really have no idea how important a role saliva plays, until you don't have it. And where the sores are, they tend to "weep" with a very unpleasant mucous. It gets a little hard to try and explain, at least it is for me, but you have to rinse with all manner of solutions to start the juices flowing, and then to stop them, in other circumstances. Another swell part of the "internal" functions is that where I had once been dealing with constipation, has now turned into diarrhea.

I've mentioned before the "fingers," which have resulted from the Erbitux, well they're defiantly an unwelcome complication with everything else going on. I can't seem to do hardly anything without bumping or snagging a finger on something. And of course, there's incidental pain involved with that. And so... if my reports here seem to lapse at times, it's because that's just what's happening with the Author, he's "lapsing." Which is about what's to happen now. More later... stay tuned!

"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them." - Albert Einstein

Final Radiation Treatment - #35

OK, this makes it official... we've reached the last step in my Cancer Treatments.

Both Kelly and Amanda were there for me, and we even had Kyle join us. Kelly showed up UNEXPECTEDLY with her ever ebullient smile and a bunch of balloons.

And to share a little bit of a different approach, let me introduce a new little technological bit of Wizardry... a FLIP Video. CLICK HERE and catch a peek at the Daily exercise for the past seven weeks.

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

OMG! It's the First Day of the Rest of Our Lives!

OK SPORTS FANS!! It's Monday, February 9th. Radiation Treatment # 34, and after 10:10am today, THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE TO GO!!! Hu-friggin'-Ray! (Sorry Mom, I just had to let that out.)

I woke up this morning, not with a sense abode, but one of wonder. It was kind of surrealistic, because first of all, it was light out, not o'dark thirty, as I'm used to awakening. Secondly, IT WAS QUIET! I didn't hear Hailey starting her morning weakened whimpering wail. I couldn't hear Tyler hollering "CAN I HAVE A TREAT?" or "I WANT A FRUIT ROLL-UP." It was actually quiet. there was the faint murmur of the TV, so I figured Kyle was up. I couldn't smell if the coffee was going, but then the ol' sniffer seems to have lost a little of it's ability to more than just itch lately.

So anyway, it was strange, my throat, tongue, cheeks and gums weren't cemented together, threatening to ignite in a blaze of pain if I swallowed. I did have the old urge "to Go" that I've come to know so well, but not the fear too breath because another day of NOISE, and hunger, and thirst, and pain was just beginning. Well, I got up, slipped into the Bathroom, grabbed a swig of H2O before reliving myself, had a rinse, took a (relatively painless) deep breath, and peeked out the door... Well, there was Hailey, up, smiling and toplessly toting her Bear, Tyler lying on the Couch, with that sly, coy, 'there's more on my mind than you think' look on his sleepy face, next to Kyle, watching Bloomberg and the Morning News.

... And it was QUIET. So, there I was, 7:30am in the morning, holding Hailey in my arms, feeling somewhat decent. I'd actually been asleep almost 3 hours, close to a new record. The DRY MOUTH syndrome wasn't all that bad. One noticeable change is the current stomach gurgling going on. With the Anti-biotic, pain-patch, Vicodin enhanced liquid diet, water based concoctions and Amanda's late night protein cocktail, it's resulted in quite the cacophony.

And so it is, I find myself getting Hailey dressed for her Day Care session, and sitting here watching our New President trying to sell his economic package to a "Town Hall" meeting in Somewhere, Indiana; something I'd almost never do. And actually being interested. Heidi (Hackler), I'm beginning to think you were right to back the Guy the way you did. And Emilie (Barry) your "other" Chicago Neighbor looks to be doing pretty darned good out of the gate.

Anyway, since Politics are NOT my thing, I found it interesting to see him out, talking "with the people" and his pushing for the Folks of the Senate and the House to work together to fix things around here. I don't think focusing on the Infrastructure is such a bad idea. And the remarkable thing about his LAST QUESTION, and offering it to a 9 year old Boy, was that it had to do with our Education system. Well darned tootin', we gotta do something about that. It wasn't so long ago, reading about how technology is changing so fast, and the economy is deteriorating almost as rapidly, we have to face one simple fact;

We have to build schools TODAY, to teach the Children of TOMORROW, about things that we don't even know exist yet.

Well, you go Pres.!

And speaking of going... that's what I must do. We're going to try and film today's session, "for the record!" Talk to Ya'll a little later.

"A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice." - Bill Cosby

Weekends, What a Wonderful Invention

So the weekend was spent in kind of a haze... Saturday saw the return of NASCAR NATION! Hurray. Being the Motorhead I am, this was good news. And what could be better that than a Son-In-Law's Big screen TV! Never mind that the Darling Grandchildren weren't into it, and outwardly expressive about finding out "the day at the Beach" wouldn't be until Sunday.

Not unlike several other days this past week, Saturday proved to be one filled with "pain" issues. Now mind you, pain is juat a part of this game, and I've been pretty much resolved to the fact, that this isn't gonna be no picknick. But, of course that's what the Pain Meds are for right? and for the most part, they all seem to do their job, up to a point. that point being where either something new is added, or a dose perhaps missed. In the case of the Pain Patch there's the added factor of application effectiveness. Well, the most recent patch (one I'd put on myself, on my back, right hand shoulder blade) had puckered, and looked like it might not be getting the maximum absorbption through my skin.

Ultimately, that appears to have been the case, as reapplying a new patch finally resolved the situation. And the dituation being, I can't think, I can't act I can't do much of anything except cringe, and try not to whine and hyperventalate. Then, after getting thigs stableized, it takes a whole lot of more time to recover, and get back to "normal" - whatever that is. So between 30 s0me cars getting wrecked in 8 crashes and two red flags in Datona, the Kidz having a boute of house fever, and being "off" with the pain meds, Saturday was not a banner day.

Sunday, with things somewhat back to normal, and following a decent nights sleep, we (Myself, Amanda, Kyle, Hailey & Tyler; Kelly, Madison & Grayson; and Brooks who was on his way sepreately)were all on our way to Lahaina, for a trip to the Beach! Ok, they were all going to Keiki Beach, and I was headed home to do some "chores." I rode with Kelly; we stopped at the Olowalu General Store, as Kelly HAD to have her Egg Salad sandwich... and then she dropped me off at home.

Steve (Lombardi) was there, but Marcia hadn't come back from church (she sings in the Makawao Union Church Choir). Had a Beer on the porch (well, Steve had the beer) and watched the Whales and got caught up on the local doings while I'd been away. I then went in to "putter" and actually found some things I'd been looking for, some of them for weeks now, so that was good. Did a little house keeping, which was necessary, and then Steve asked if I wanted to head over to the Goose (The Sly Moongoose) for a Beer or two... Well that was a great idea, as I hadn't been there in ages, so off we went, only Steve had all the Beer...

Not long after we got back to the House, Kyle dropped off Amanda, and we were off (in Pearl) back to Kahului, with my Recycling in the back. Aside from two idiots who almost got us killed, we got back to Amanda's without incident. Lea Voss dropped by for a visit, and a couple Backgammon lessons (which she managed to win 3-0). They had a great Veal Meal, and I had Strawberry Carnation Instant Breakfast. The Kidz were pooped from their day at the Beach, and happy to have the added distraction of Aunty Lea, so they were off to bed without any trouble. And from there, it was an early night for everyone.

OK - tomorrow's the BIG day, my next to last treatment - and Oh boy, am I ever ready!

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections." - Wall's Words of Wisdom

At least the Chemo's Over, Rover

Well, Thursday wound up a bit tougher that I'd thought it was going to be. But there were some high points too. I guess it just proves out the old addage that, "Right Action is Happening."

But, in the interest of continuity, I'm gonna come back to this (at a later date), and fill in the blanks. If I understand it right, that's one of the many options the GOOGLE BLOGGER provides. So, tune back HERE, and next time, there will be a little more about what all went down on Thursday.

I've got a whole lot to say, to thank the Kaiser Wailuku Oncology Staff. A whole lot more than just THANK YOU!

"You can't predict the future; you can prepare for it." Common Sense

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get...

Well, I've got some catching up to do today. Sorry, but we had some Pain Delays. I think things are back under control now.


One thing it probably will be difficult to hide, is the fact that my brain is no longer exactly functioning all that well. Like you could say I'm not exactly as sharp as a tack... or, I'm about as sharp as a marble! Speaking of Marbles, I see some of mine rolling away there, under the couch...


One of the greatest labor saving devices of today is … tomorrow! - Wall's Words of Wisdom

What Difference a 'Pray' Makes...

Several Months ago, I'd asked my Sister Karen (KC Clark, who lives in Utah, with her Husband JC, and two Sons, Joshua and Benjamin) if she might send me some PEPPERMINT OIL, as it was one of the few things I put much stock in, from the Aroma Therapy school of thought. Among Karen's various activities which she manages to keep herself too busy with, one of them is EMOTIONAL SCENTS, a distributor of Essential Oils and sundry other products, which is my connection to that world. Anyway, at the last RALSTON FAMILY REUNION (Mom's side of the Family) several years ago, I was introduced to Peppermint Oil, and found it therapeutic in the way of stress relief and relaxation. Well, all things considered, I figured I could use some...


So, it was with a bit of selfishness that I offered up a prayer on my own behalf, that would the oil PLEASE arrive. Well darned if it didn't. And what wound up being the biggest treat and therapy of the whole package, was a little hand made "CHEER-ME-UP" card from my Nephew, Benjamin. You may not be able to tell from the photo, but the letters and palm are foam cut-outs. Anyway, it had me bustin' my buttons. There is just no greater power or joy, than can be found in the energy of a Child. THANK YOU BJ!


And so I began week #8. Kelly showed up promptly on time, however uncharacteristically dressed for work (Kelly is the Veterinary Assistant for the Maui Humane Society), on a day she normally has off. In spite of all the lay-offs, business closings and everything else in our crazy economy, there seems to be no shortage of "animals in need" and she had been called in to deal with the overload. Kelly looked a little tired, and upon inquiry, revealed that a large part was due to Grayson's seemingly coming down with some stomache ailment which resulted in their being up all night with the usual debilitating regime normally associated with such things. Sure hope you feel better tomorrow Gray Boy.

My "MASK" is just starting to feel comfortable (like I'm not going to choke in the next 30 seconds), but I'm still left with a scaly complexion following the treatments. As the photo hopefully will attest to.





And good news, we were successful in swapping the Vanilla Ensure for Strawberry. We had a bit more rain over the weekend, and here's the Kiddo's dressing up to face the severe Winter's weather, Maui style.





“One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.” - CURMUDGEON’S OBSERVATION

Sanity Preserving Projects

The "poster" above is a recent project I took on, to lend an assist to Moma Duma (who is still Bonnie Nelson to most of us who have known her in her previous life...). Along with her CHEETAH ALLIANCE http://www.cheetahalliance.org/ project, she's seeking out and pursuing ways to entertain and capture the interest, imagination and tremendous potential possessed by Children everywhere, in the hopes of raising consciousness towards the dwindling populations of endangered animals, in particular the Cheetah, and other issues the Children of the World will necessarily inherit from "US" adults.



I encourage any of you with a little time on your hands, or an interest in cultivating the Youth of Today as they prepare for their Leadership Tomorrow, or the desire to improve the World condition in any way you can; to check out her website, or some of her writing efforts. www.cheetahportal.com/index.html offers her experiences and feelings while traveling through Africa. You'll also find at the end of my FAREWELL CARTHAGINIAN Photo essay, a link to Bonnie's article in the Lahaina News, a tribute to Lahaina's vanished vessel.



"The really bright student, the eager questioner, the probing searcher, especially if he is brighter than his teacher, is too often seen as a 'wise guy,' a threat to discipline, a challenger of his teacher's authority." - Abraham Maslow

Congratulations PITTSBURGH!!

Nice try ARIZONA, but it just wasn't meant to be.


And so went a relatively quiet and relaxing Sunday. I hope a good time was had by all. Tomorrow begins the beginning of the "end." And none too soon if you ask me. I'll freely admit, I'm ready for this to be over. Of course, the worst is still to come, so they say...


The good Folks at the Bobby Baker Clinic (I'm sure in an effort to cheer me up) pointed out that as of Friday, they were now "BUMPING UP the Treatments." 'What does that mean?' you might ask... 'Well we're now going to target a SMALLER AREA.' Sounds good doesn't it, Oh, but wait... we'll also be INCREASING the doses. Swell. It'll hurt more, but over a lesser area! Oh well, that's how this whole things gone: good News / bad News.


I'v e had tqo more fingers "go off" now boasting a total of 7 bandaged flanges, and I may just stop tryoing to corredt the inherent "typos" that come with the darn things. At least the tears don't splash on the pages like they jmight otherwise. Poor Joni, the Oncology Pharmicist is worried about infections, I tried to assure her that I was doing pretty good (that was last Thrusday, wehn there were only 5) and they're not too bad, really. Speaking of pharmacy - only one more of those lovely sessionsw, nesst Thursday. Actually, I will miss those Nurses quite a bit, as they have been very caring, and a big help in adjusting to "side affects."


One of the most troubling of all to everyone seems to be my loss of weight. Yes, it seems to have become a factor. ONe which I'll attribute to the counter productive by product of the AFTER TASTE resulting from the ENSURE. I've been taking the ENSURE from the git go, and it actually started out pretty good, I could actually tolerate it just fine. I had bought some at the store, comes in bottles, when I first had my tonsils out, as they were concerned way back then about loosing weight. Given the choice, I went with Coffee, as my recollection of the other flavors was let's say, somewhat less than motivating. Well, there was a bit of sticker shock, with them costing a little over $2.00 a bottle, and my supposedly having to take 3~6 servings a day, depending on what all else I was able to eat.

Well, the first week of Radiation Treatment, Jeannie the Receptionist was kind enough to offer that the Cancer Society made it possible for patients to draw one case per week, which was quite a savings, so I gladly took her up on it, and received my first case of canned 'Regular' ENSURE. By mid-January, I was ready for another, only to find out, that they were "out!" No problem, the effervescent and every resourceful Jeannie pointed us to the American Cancer Society, who conveniently happened to be just down the road, at the Cameron Center (where I used to make my Blood Bank Donations). We went by, and they were kind enough to provide another case (up to one p/Month for 3 months), this time ENSURE "PLUS." Well, I don't think either the Cancer Society nor the ENSURE folks are fully aware, but this lowly little Patient can tell you, THEY AIN'T THE SAME. The after taste, effect on the mucous production, and all around consumption experience went from tolerable, to horrible - making it really hard to drink the now six cans a day they wanted me to have.

Anyway, short version is I lost 10 pounds the first month, then 5 pounds in a week, then only 3, and last week, it was another 10 pounds (they didn't like that...). So everyone was in a tizzy, with one result being I got an increase in my pain patch, from 100 (whatever they ares...) to 150, which helped on the pain management side, and a referral to the Kaiser Nutritionist, who initially responded that they could get me an appointment early in March! We wound up with a phone consultation, which rattled Amanda a bit, as the (questionable) Nutritionist mostly focused on how many terminal patients she'd had lately from one thing or the other..., with the best thing coming out of the conversation being to NOT put raw eggs (this had been my idea) into my "shakes" as a way to increase proteins in my diet. Lately the scrambled egg thing wasn't working, as it was too much trouble to get the leftover egg mush out from my cheeks and gums. Have I mentioned before that brushing my teeth takes roughly 45 minuets to an hour these days?

Well, Thursday, whilst lamenting all this to my Dear Nurses at Kaiser Oncology, Annette suggested CARNATION INSTANT BREAKFAST. Well, I had taken that waaaayy back in my High School days, when I was (desperately) trying to GAIN WEIGHT for Football, and two of those (morning & night) were part of my program. So, I didn't have any problem, and we got a "mixed" pack to try. Well, the Vanilla was close to ensure, and not great, the Chocolates (of which there are 3 flavors) create taste issues, and are not pleasant, but the STRAWBERRY - hello, we have a winner! I can't explain it, as I've been avoiding Strawberry Ensure, and real Strawberries are no go, but the Carnation Strawberry is smooth, soothing and tastes great (well, not bad anyway). Only problem here is so far, all we've been able to find is the Variety packs, which only have two strawberries per package. Anyway, Annette gets the ANGEL'S award again. Thank you Annette.

Lastly, the NO TALKING RULE is in full enforcement now, as that seems to be the one thing I can actually control, to minimise the discomfort I continue to experience with my TONGUE and mouth.


"To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while." - Josh Billings

That was the Week that Was...

Hey there! Anybody miss me?

There's a good chance everybody's too busy with Super Bowl Sunday to be much bothered if I don't get anything written here today, but somehow, I managed to go all week without writing any of Wall's words of wisdom or whimsical wanderings. Hmmm, I'm not sure if I should apologize, or say "You're welcome!"

Well, in many ways it was a week like the ones before. Radiation Treatments Monday ~ Friday. Blood Test on Wednesday morning and Herbitux (Chemotherapy) on Thursday. Increased pain meds; weight loss; irritated skin on face and neck; words of encouragement and support received from Family & Friends; delightful Daughters dilegently doting on Dad. And then there were all the OTHER things, the surprised and subtle little factors which put a "twist" on all the routine activities. Unexpected challenges, surprise visits, mood swings of the Grandchildren, and things that actually mattered to others happening.

Let's just say, I'm gonna let it pass just that way. I've gained some insights into Pain Management which should be of help for the remaining treatments, and I'll be able to comment on those, as we go. I've learned a little bit more about what to anticipate for during my Post Treatment Period (did I even know there was going to be a "post treatment period?") Well, I thought I did, but turns out, it was kind of like knowing there's an Ice Berg out there, but not really understanding how little of it the "tip" represents. I've got a bunch of photos, that now need to be transferred to the Computer (I LOVE MY LAPTOP - THANK YOU ALL), edited, and some printed so I can mail them to Mom. My little "seed" of an idea for taking a Train Ride this Summer has taken root, and will start showing the branchs of growth anytime now. My Friend and LHD Classmate, Rick Moss should be home now, from having his HIP replaced. So, we'll need to check in on him. Maddie and Grayson received EXCELLENT MARKS for their School Report Cards, and I'm sure Brooks & Kelly are suitably proud, I'm sure because I know they all went out for a treat to the Kahumanu Center. TuTu's birthday was Thursday (that's Nana Anne to most everyone).

So, on that note, it's time to try for a little shut eye, and there won't be much dozing tomorrow.

Goooo ARIZONA!

"Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration." - J. Wagner