I think it’s safe to say that “the Troops have landed!” Yes, the Dragoons of Discomfort have definitely deployed and have dug-in deeply, despite all my efforts to the contrary. And the Chain of Command here is quite clear, having been personally assigned my own adjutant of anguish, I am totally at the mercy of Private Pain, who reports directly to Corporal Punishment, who in turn answers to Sergeant Sore, who’s under the direction of Major Malady, who ultimately answers to Colonel Confusion.

Oh, and let’s not forget General Discomfort with his new dictionary of medical mumbo jumbo, who makes sure that even if I did have any clue as to what this was all about, I couldn’t possibly describe it to anyone else, given my language limitations. Be assured though, that the minions of misery march incessantly down my throat until the reach the back of my tongue where they make a speed turn and head back up again. And did I mention Artie Choak, the Admiral of Adversity, who sits alone and aloof, up behind my right temple, and appears to be administering the whole program.

Fortunately, I am not alone in this battle for physical dominance. Faithfully, every 4 hours the Viceroy of Vicoden visits and vanquishes the villains of vocal variations. Then there’s the Amoxicillin, the Ambassador of Anti-Biotics, who’s on an 8 hour cycle. Oh the cool soothing comfort of PINK! Additionally, these two major “food groups” are being supplemented by cold Jell-O, cold apple juice, cold water, tapioca, Cream o' Wheat w/ PB & Honey, tap water, iced coffee, peppermint tea, very (very) soft scrambled eggs, pudding, cold water, Gatorade – hold on a second, one of my eyeballs is floating away… - chicken broth, oh, and did I mention, cold water? This has been the sum total of my nourishment these past 6 days. The truly amazing thing is, during this whole time, I’ve not had to bother with any bowl movements, so I guess I at least have that to look forward too.

In case I’ve not been very clear here, I think all I’m trying to say is this hasn’t been a whole lot of fun. Nor do I mind saying, that in hindsight, my first few days with very little discomfort sure had me fooled. Probably the one thing I wish I could share most with some of my ol’ Friends at LGI is the white spots and mucous that has now spread throughout my mouth.

I should probably mention that on Tuesday, under Amanda’s diligent care, she had become concerned about there being considerable swelling in my legs, feet and ankles, while at the same time, I had growing concern over the increased pain levels at the back of my tongue, and would my RX in deed last until my scheduled follow-up with Dr. Newman on Thursday afternoon. Not to be deterred, Amanda called Dr. Newman’s office, and spoke with Cheryl, his Nurse. Well, she was having none of that, and promptly had me scheduled to see a GP at 3:10pm Tuesday afternoon.

That turned out to be with Dr. Shiotani, who after peeking, poking and prodding determined that, “I was just fine!” Easy enough for him to say so! What he did say was (yes, more big words) lying all day & night in the recliner, consuming large amounts of sodium enriched liquids and the physical and mental trauma all combine to make the legs swell. The good news was, it did look like healing was progressing as it should, it would be OK for me to get up, walk around and get some exercise, so long as I didn’t overdo it… What, me? And best of all, renewed my Pain Med RX!!! Yea! Dr. Shiotani is my new hero…
Oh, and the bonus for Tuesday… Kelly came by with Madison & Grayson, and I was treated to a haircut. Well, actually she cut quite a few, pretty much all of them. I know this will be good news to many of you, and for me, well, it was time I guess… I’ll do my best to get the full report this afternoon, and should have a better idea of what the schedule is here for the next couple weeks.

“If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” - Thomas Alva Edison